Back after long absence
I realized as I logged in today that in one week I would have been away from this site for 5 years. Much has happened in my life in those intervening weeks and months. I will will attempt to provide a bird’s eye overview before I continue in earnest.
My wife Tammy, to whom I had been married since 1980 began having hip issues in the Fall of 2016 and it got progressively worst, until in April we received the news that her cancer had returned, but this time in her bones. We pursued and endured multiple surgeries, chemotherapy, radiation therapy, and months of recovery and rehab. All of this left her in a wheelchair and we continued with regular chemo and other supportive treatments.
Tragically, after a long and fiercely fought battle by us and our complete extended family, Tammy’s body could no longer hold out and she died on December 1, 2020 at right around 7 pm. Her spirit never wavered, but her body could not continue. Being people of faith, she had complete peace in her spirit and knew where she was going, and I know I will see her again.
Immediately after her death, I suffered the full weight of grief and was almost immobilized for a while. But with the help of my faith, prayer, counseling and lots of support from family and friends I am learning to build a new life in the midst of my loss. The loss never goes away, but my rebuilding is going well and I am at peace with myself.
During the time I cared for Tammy and we went down life’s path together, I was basically working full-time and being her caregiver full-time. There was no time for anything else in our lives but my work and her care. I gave up all of my hobbies during that time in order to focus on Tammy, and enjoy every minute with her that I could. Even though it was a big change for us both, I would do it again ten times over because we had some great memorable time together right until the end.
This summer I began cleaning up the property and working outside again. There was no garden this year because I could not get myself motivated enough to plant, but lots of maintenance tasks have been completed. We constructed a memorial garden for Tammy on the farm and the family and friends contributed things to put in it. It is still not finished and maybe never will be, but it is a wonderful reminder of her and all she lived for.
This fall and winter I will be planning and building some to prepare for next spring. Some of the projects on the drawing board are installing solar power and power backup, constructing a backup water purification system, constructing an outdoor kitchen, putting a roof over part of the deck, constructing raised bed frames, moving the berry garden, and constructing a chicken coop and getting new chickens. A big list I know, but developing a use plan for the property is important so you know where you are going and what goes where. Other potential projects include growing mushrooms, aquaculture, reworking the smart home system, setting up a new workshop for the 3d printers, laser engravers, and cnc routers, and others. I will do my best to document each project to share what I learn so that others may benefit from my mistakes and successes.
I am beginning to return to hobbies, and right now I am trying lots of things to find those things I want to keep working on. I am looking to strike some sort of balance between things that are just plain fun for me, and things that will teach me something and be beneficial to reaching the ultimate goal of being self sustaining here on the farm and sharing the knowledge with others.
That’s all for now but keep reading, I will be back soon.